how love feels
by ijustloveyouso
Summary: Sometimes I sit around and just try to relax. Then, things like love and life comes into my mind. I guess I am weird. I'm 11 years old so children like me should be thinking about school and fun. I guess I'm just not that type of child.


**-How Love feels-**

** Somebody's POV**

Sometimes I sit around and just try to relax. Then, things like love and life comes into my mind. I guess I am weird. I'm 11 years old so children like me should be thinking about school and fun. I guess I'm just not that type of child. I often wonder how many heart breaks because of simple things, why there are kind people suffering while those greedy people are enjoying their lives.

I don't really know how love feels, because I was always rejected ever since I was a little kid. My mom and dad never appreciated me; they say I have no talents at all. They say they regretted having me, and lucky them that they had another child, my sister, Hisa. She's beautiful, kind and talented as they all say. But she doesn't like me too. She told me once that she hate my guts.

I didn't mind them and continued my life, going to school and so, until….

One day, I saw this blonde guy with azure blue orbs that I guess I've fallen in love with at first sight. I don't know how I decided I love him but somehow, I did. I always wanted to see him, and I wanted to know him better. I guess luck was on my side that time because we became classmates. I'd stare at him every day, at every subject. Of course, I've maintained my grades or else my parents would be more disappointed in me. I was never the apple of the eye or the center of attraction; I was just this corner girl who always goes unnoticed. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm even still alive.

I pushed my fear aside and gathered up all the courage I have and told Ruka Nogi my feelings. Once more, I was rejected. I guess that's when I got my first heartbreak. Since then, I built walls around me so nobody would ever get to my heart. I built a façade and I never took it off. I became the girl everyone loves, the girl everyone wants to be. My parents and sister became proud of me, my classmates envy me and my teachers respect me. I was an honor student who always passes with flying colors. I was not born a genius but right now, they all think I am one.

Everything in my life changed that day. I was only 6 years old that time; I guess I am too young to change. But I did. I was no longer that innocent little girl who lets everyone step on her. I changed into a stronger, more mature girl. That was what they all thought but all of that was just a mask to hide my true feelings. All I did was lock the old me inside my heart, in that way nobody would ever find her.

And for a very long time, nobody did. Until one year ago, when I was ten years old, someone came and changed my life once more.

** -Flashback (one year ago)-**

I walked inside the classroom as usual, people stare at me. Once more, nobody greeted me so I continued to my desk. Everyone in this damn classroom respect, fear and hate me after all. Sigh. Here comes the gay-ish teacher.

**"Ohayo!~ minna-san! Guess what? We have a new transfer student"**

And people where murmuring, while some where already asking questions whether it was a girl or a boy. I mean, who cares anyway, it's just going to be another kid.

**"You may now come in. Please introduce yourself."**

Oh, right. I forgot that they care. By they, I mean the stupid people who I call classmates. They were all looking at the door. I didn't want to look but for some certain reason, my eyes weren't on my control. The door opened and it revealed a young girl with chestnut brown hair and a pair of wide hazel orbs that were sparkling for some reason. Her long hair was tied up in two high pigtails and it's obvious that she was nervous.

**"Ano, ohayo! Atashi wa Sakura Mikan-desu!"**

The class excluding me, welcomed her warmly until the gay-ish teacher interrupted once more.

**"We have to assign a partner for Mikan-chan!"**

Almost the whole classroom was raising their hands.

**"You guys already have partners; let's see, hmmm, Imai-san will be your partner, Mikan-chan. Go there and sit beside her. Well, everyone that's it. Free period!~ Ja!~"**

Everyone was looking at me as if what he said were the weirdest thing in the world. I just rolled my eyes in return. Brunette was walking towards me and then she approached me.

**"Hi! I'm Mikan, nice to meet you!"**

She was smiling so brightly, and her eyes were sparkling even mire. I'm guessing that this girl doesn't know anything about the real world, probably been pampered and spoiled her whole life.

I shrugged and stared at the window. I felt her sit beside me and then she talked again.

**"Ne, Imai-san, what's your first name?"  
>"Hey, Imai-san, are you mad at me?"<br>"Imai-san, why are you so quiet?"  
>"Shut up. Don't talk to me."<strong>

She was really annoying, so I guess that'll shut her big mouth up. But to my surprise, she smiled at me and said:

**"Imai-san, let's be friends!"**

She's one weird girl, friends huh, this is my first time hearing someone offering their friendship to me.

**"If that'll shut you up. Then, whatever."  
>"Yay! Now we're friends!"<strong>

I can't believe this girl, how can someone rejoice over such words? Whatever, she'll give up on me soon. I can't trust anyone else but me after all.

A week passed by and she still isn't giving up on me, she spend lunch time with me without a fail, greeted me good morning everyday with a smile plastered on her face. Doesn't this girl ever get tired?

She's stupid, naïve, dense and vulnerable, just like I once was. But I guess it's nice to have her around.

One day, I heard Shouda and Wakako talking to her.

** "Ne, Mikan, why do you keep hanging around with that study freak? She's so weird, she doesn't deserve you"  
>"Yeah, Mikan. Why not just hang around with popular girls like us, we can totally have fun unlike that Hotaru girl!"<strong>

I was about to walk away because, believe it or not, I was hurt by their words. But then I heard the words she said.

**"Her name is Hotaru? That's great! Now we can call each other on first name basis! I'm so glad. Oh, and mind you guys, Hotaru is not a freak, she's obviously kind and sweet you guys just don't understand her because you're too envious of her. She got brains and a heart and you only got your popularity and fake friends, no wonder you're jealous, huh?"  
>"Mikan, you bitch!"<br>"Go to your Hotaru, you deserve each other, you're both annoying"  
>"I will, with pleasure. At least she's real unlike you!"<strong>

Me? Real? I guess this girl is also fooled by my façade. No one can really see through my outer character.

At lunch time we ate at the usual place: _the rooftop._

**"Ne, I finally got you name! it's HO-TA-RU! It's beautiful. Can I call you Hotaru-chan from now on?"  
>"Tch. Whatever."<strong>

And once more, she surprised me with the next words she said.

**"You know, you can let your guard down around me, no need to put on that façade. Won't you show me the real, Hotaru-chan?"**

I was so touched by those words that came from her mouth at that moment that I didn't notice that I was crying.

**"Mi-kan."  
>"Wow! You said my name Hotaru-chan! I'm really glad to have you as my best friend!"<br>"Best friend?"  
>"Uh-huh. Hotaru-chan and I are best friends, right?"<strong>

This girl, she climbed over the walls I've built around my heart. She has knocked on my once closed doors.

**"What are you saying, baka?"  
>"Mou, I'm not an idiot! But I guess this means you accepted me as your best friend, right? I love you, Hotaru-chan!"<br>"… I guess, Mikan"  
>"Wow! You said it! You said my name again!"<strong>

And with all my courage I have, I smiled at her. She smiled at me too and this time she hugged me so tight and I let her. I felt warmth and love in her embrace.

**-End of Flashback-**

I sat on my chair once more and begin to think about love and life, it's strange for an eleven year old kid to think about this kind of stuffs but I guess I'm not your typical eleven year old kid. My thoughts were interrupted when someone sat beside me.

**"Morning, Hotaru-chan!"  
>"Morning, baka."<br>"Mou, I told you I'm not an idiot."  
>"Right, and pigs can fly."<br>"Pigs can fly? Really?"  
>"See, you're an idiot."<br>"Am not."  
>"Are."<br>"Not."  
>"Are."<br>"Not."**

And we continued on bickering.

I don't really know _how love feels _because I was always rejected ever since I was a little kid. Until, I met her, my one and only best friend who showed me _how love feels, __**Mikan Sakura.**_

**-Fin-**

A/N: how was it? I just suddenly thought of it while I was in the middle of writing chapter 7 of My dream come true. Review please.

**Mizuhi Yamato, logging out.**


End file.
